How to Un-Love

If anyone has any idea how to un-love, give me some tips.

I am stuck in reverse.

A prisoner in my own Alcatraz.

No escaping.

Skinny Love

And I told you to be patient,

And I told you to be fine,

And I told you to be balanced,

And I told you to be kind,

And now all your love is wasted,

Then who the hell was I?

'Cause now I'm breaking at the britches,

And at the end of all your lines.

Fogging Up

My soul has been sucked to oblivion by my inability to fix what needed to fixed. 

I am completely fogging up over my future cuz it's uncertain, can't say where it's going 

and I am finally losing hope to turn things around even with some help. 

Mid-life crisis? 

Perhaps. 

A Fool For Love

Met my guy while running on Roxas Blvd. He was on the phone and really caught my attention and looked at him for a brief moment and continued to run towards the US Embassy. On my return, just across the Diamond hotel, saw him again, still on the phone and clearly heard him talk in Bisaya. That got me excited! And I stopped my run walked a bit, looked behind me and he also looked my way. Stopped and pretended to be looking at the Bay. He walked up to me and started a conversation. From there we decided to go to the nearest motel. I thought it was gonna be a one-night-stand, a booty call. We spent the whole night together, unbelievable isn't it? 

When we checked out of the motel, we talked for a little bit and learned that we have the same interests, fitness, reading, music etc. We decided to keep in touch, without expectations. But the next day, he texted and wanted to meet, so we did and for another day satisfied our trysts. After about a week of texts, calls, and meet ups, he asked if I want to be exclusives with him. Was scared it was the first time that I'd be in a partnership, I went out with other guys but nothing serious. So I told him to take it slow, and he agreed. A week past and he asked again, I finally relented cuz, I am really falling for him. He is sweet, caring, good looking and great in bed! 

Everything was smooth sailing as they say. Until I saw signs of his infidelity. Once, he missent a text, knew it wasn't for me because the content is not something he would tell me. I confronted him and he said it wasn't a mistake and he intentionally sent to spike things up. I didn't believe of course but gave him a chance to redeem himself. It went downhill from there. He showed more signs of his activities outside our partnership. Gave him several times to come clean, even asked if he wants to have an open relationship and most of the time, he'd reply with an assurance that he is not seeing anybody else and that he wouldn't want another person in his life. So we continued with our relationship, had vacations together and spent nights together most weekends. 

On one of our trips though, he left his phone unlocked and I pried into his messages, viber etc.  Found incriminating evidences of his infidelity. Proving my gut feel is true! Didn't confront him, but instead talked to him once again if he wants an open relationship if there is anything that he'd want us to change if at all he wants our partnership to go further. And again got a response that I would like to hear. Didn't press on but I was really unsure at the point of where to take our relationship. 

I have grown to love, really love the guy! When I couldn't take it any longer, I told him about a scenario close to our situation and he understood what I meant. Admitted all the things he had done, while in a relationship with me. We agreed amicably to be friends, of course, still wanted him. He has already moved on, friendship is all he can afford me. We still see each other, spend nights together whenever we can and go on trips together. 

Several times, I tried to break free. Just stop seeing him. But can't, he won't allow it as well. 

I am a prisoner. 

Incarcerated.

Heart broken and emotionally torn. 

A fool for love... 

Ressurection

Too many events in my closet life happened since I last posted something. 

Some good, some not to be desired. 

What's important, is that life goes on. 

And I am struggling to find myself. 

Love myself and be loved in return.

Unconditionally...

Sad Truth...

No one loves equally...

Looking Forward To A Long Weekend

Monday is Memorial Day in the U.S.

As such, our office will be closed.

It's a long weekend for me.

Excited, because I think I can spend a nice weekend with Dimples.

I wish we can go to the beach...

We both have no plans yet, hopefully tonight we'll come up with something exciting to do.