Can't Sleep, Yet again...

Came home four hours ago.

From an overnight shift. It was a long night at work. :(

From a nice breakfast with Dimples. Went to Microtel Inn. ;)

Dropped him off at his apartment, well near his apartment, we don't want to be seen by his friends.

I can't sleep. Thinking about our conversation.

On our way to his apartment, I suggested that we get our own apartment, instead of sharing with a friend of his. It's more economical if we get an apartment, we don't have to rent a room at our fave motel every time we need to spend time together. He agreed but with a lot of conditions. This is not new to me, almost always he has an explanation or a reason for everything.

Just like how he wants everything between us be kept to our ourselves. Because he doesn't want his people to know what or who he really is. So that when things don't go well between us, he won't be disturbing or damaging other people. It's because of his Psycho Ex. The one before me. He had done some nasty things that made Dimples hold his guards really tight.

I am not naive.

Nor stupid.

Bit my tongue, can't tell him exactly how I feel about our situation. There is another time for that.

I got a text a few minutes after we saw each other off. He was apologizing. I didn't understand why. Asked what it was for, he replied for arguing with me.

Told him, it wasn't an argument, it was more like a mature conversation between two sane people.

I had to tell him that we gotta talk sometime about how I truly feel.

Smiled at his response, save it he said, because he might not be able to take it all in.

My next text came with a promise that I love him, no matter what. Pleaded to take care of my heart.

He thinks I'm still doubting his feeling.

It's more like a question of security. Just can't feel it.

Nothing is permanent in this world, we all move. Hopefully, what I have with Dimples will last longer than I expect it to be. I am hoping... Crossed fingers...

Meantime, I will close my eyes and try to sleep. It's almost 24 hours that I have been awake.

Mr. Sandman - we call each other Mr. Sandman; sprinkle your magical sands onto my eyes and bring me a dream.