Living a Double Life - Selfish, Selfish, Selfish

A friend of Dimples mentioned something that hit me hard. Didn't speak to his friend but he told me about it.

The friend is happy that Dimples found a partner in me, and that he is happy to be in love. But she doesn't approve that I am much older bi. Not to mention married.

I haven't mentioned previously that I am living a double life - married to a woman who I am very much in love with. She is the very same reason that I can't be out. But being with and with Dimples at the same time is like having the best of both worlds.

Selfish me!

His friend is against the fact the I am married. Can't blame her, her husband left her for another woman. She knows how shitty a woman's life is when a husband leaves for a other woman, it'll be worse if a husband choses to be with another man instead. And she has advised Dimples to let go of me because of that. I'm happy that he didn't give me up because of what his friend think, but because I truly matter to him.

It hit me hard to know that she doesn't approve of me. Don't need his friends approval anyway. She doesn't know me and what I go through.

Been hiding in the closet for the longest time. No plans of coming out. But if I could turn back time, I probably wouldn't have allowed my weak heart to have fallen in love with my wife. Because when I met her, I already know that I can't control my bi-sexuality.

Selfish, again!

However, I didn't know that Dimples would come along. That I'd fall in love with him. You see, prior to knowing him, I've only only gone out with 3 other guys, nothing serious. They were more life fuck buddies. Also, hate to admit this, have rented guys several times to satisfy some of my hunger.

Definitely, Dimples has opened my eyes to a lot of things. Sex is great, conversations are never boring, we both enjoy reading and listening to music. I could go on and on... That's how compatible we are.

So, I never wanted to be in this situation, I can't chose between my wife and him. Both holds a special place in my heart. And I don't want people to judge me because of the choices I make. Nobody knows where I am coming from or what I am going through. If they only knew, maybe they won't judge.

What am i going to do? I don't want to hurt or lose both my wife and Dimples.

Selfish, selfish, selfish!