Finding the courage to do any kind of medical test is nerve wracking. The agony of finding out if you're sick is something that everybody dreads, I guess rich or poor cuz it's not a question of affordability rather of someone's psychological preparedness. No one is prepared to accept the fact that there is something wrong with their body.
So that's how Dimples and I felt when we went to RITM in Malate to do the HIV and STD screening, we owe it to ourselves so we did it on a Monday thinking that there won't be too many people doing it at the same as we were. We were wrong! When we got to the center, around 3 more guys were already busy filling out the necessary forms in order to do the test. Another couple walked in after us and two more women. Definitely a more discreet crowd than the first attempted to go there.
So we were handed forms and got ourselves busy. I can still feel the tension between Dimples and I. Really, the fear of finding if you have it or not is very stressful. I guess more for him, because of some carelessness of his youth. He sat two seats over and when I scooted beside him, he moved another seat and kept a seat between us. I was crushed. Wasn't interested in whatever information he is stating in the form, not peeking at all. Was merely asking for his presence because my nerve is getting to run on all time high. But I let him deal with his own fear.
We were told to go up to the conference room for a group pre-test counseling since there were at least 8 other people to be tested. He chose a seat all the way to back, while I had no choice but sit at the front. Didn't want to take a seat beside the other dudes, didn't want any conversation whatsoever when I am very nervous. Dimples asked me after a few minutes anyway to sit beside him. So I felt some relief.
After the counselor's talk we went down to wait for the nurse to do the blood extraction. More people came, some just like the two us were very nervous coming in. Thats when it hit me. Everyone is scared, probably even ashamed of being in the test center. The impression of being promiscuous is most likely in everybody's minds. I mean who wants to be branded that way?
After a few minutes Dimples and I called to the extraction room and were told that it'll take about 2 to 3 hours to get the result. Apparently the medical technologist hasn't arrived yet. So we thought it'll be quick and easy but our agony was extended through the rest of the afternoon. We decided to go to Robinson's Malate, a short walk from RITM. Got there very early so we waited for the doors to open. Once we got, went around looking for something to eat. I suggested we eat at Yakimix since hasn't tried it yet.
Dimples enjoyed the food. Grilling the food made his worries temporarily forgotten. We stayed there til around half past two. Walked back to RITM after a great lunch.
When we got there though, the results were not ready yet. We were told the medical technologist just arrived and was still running the tests. It was an agonizing two hours of waiting for the result. People were coming in and out. There is no discreetness anymore. The center promised, not anonymity but at least some level of comfortability for the people doing the test. They understand everyone's situation after all. But because the center is packed to the rim every ounce of confidentiality is forgotten. The med tech came down to chat a bit with us. Asking if it was our first time, who referred us, etc etc etc. Then the staff or volunteers had a quick lunch of bread. They were nice enough to offer their food but no one dared to grab a sandwich.
After seemed an eternity, we were called one by one. I was second to he ushered to the post-test counseling. I was cutting off the counselor because I had no time to listen to some bullshit when I have already spent the whole day waiting for the test result. It was close to 5pm already and we started the test in the morning. The counselor was apologetic about the delay but at that point it didn't matter anymore was tired and sleepy. Still have to work in the evening.
When the counselor finally gave me the result, I immediately opened the envelope, one big negative word was written at the bottom of the page. Great! That means Dimples is cleared as well, was thinking at the back of my mind.
Dimples's turn was not after a little prodding to the nurse. We were telling her we still have to sleep and go to work later in the evening. And so he was called to the room. It took him longer than I did. Was getting anxious, several things ran in my mind. But alas he came out of the room with a big smile. He was handing me his envelope instructing me to open it. But I didn't do it because the rest of the people in the room were looking at us. We said our thanks to the volunteers and left.
He wanted to go Robinson's again, so we did. He said he wanted to buy new books to read. I guess to celebrate the good news. He is back to being himself at this point. I was happy and so was he.
We were both RELIEVED to have gotten the negative result that we both were praying for. Will we do unprotected sex again? Oh yes we did! Twice already, but we have committed to be more responsible and wear the much needed protection next time. We owe it to ourselves. We love ourselves. We must not falter even when we are weak.
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